Girl, Look What You’ve Done To Me

This. But, in chick form.

Ya’ll remember that Davy Jones joint on The Brady Bunch? Yeah, that.* Ish used to annoy me to know end. But, I sang it all the time. I’m a weird creature. *as everyone nods in agreement, leaving not one person to dispute*

Anyhoot.

Four score and 50-lem years ago, I read a post on VSB about girl crushes. And I commented. So, following up on my post about women being more comfortable with expressing their attraction to the same sex while still comfortably maintaining their hetereosexual status, I decided to expand on the list I left on VSB with a little detail. I love details. Hope you do, too.

So, allow me to shamone with my List O’ Girl Crushes (and why):

– Nia Long. Love Jones (I’m pretty sure I was team “Larenz and Nia” for the longest time). The Best Man (That Stevie Wonder “As” scene, doe?!). Fresh Prince of Bel Air (Lisa was my favorite girlfriend of Will’s, of course. And this was when I realized that Nia had a comedic flair). To name a few. What I love about Nia other than her beauty is how approachable she seems. Pretty much every character she portrays is always one that could be “yo girl.” She always portrays a character that is so cool and just about every woman can see themselves hanging out with her. And beyond that, she seems that way in real life. From her interviews, she seems as cool as her characters. But yeah, this is a popular choice amongst the ladies. I think what makes her so likeable is that, yes, while she’s pretty, she seems down enough for that not to be a “hateable” factor amongst women. Ya know, since we do that a lot. Hate on purty womens. o______O

– Aaliyah. Maaaaaaaaan, don’t even get me started on my Aaliyah stan-dom. Oh wait, you already did. Or maybe I did. Either way. I was probably about 12 or 13 when I first “fell” for her. Hell, I thought I WAS her. This was about the age when I got my first perm, so you couldn’t tell me ISH when I had my wrap. I rocked my over-the-eye side-swoop, all Tommy Gear airthang (yup, was a Hilfiger stan as well), and showed off the belly button.** The way she was able to create that “sexy tomboy” (I was definitely a tomboy back in the day) look and the fluidity of her dance moves spoke to me in her soft, sweet voice.

– Sanaa Lathan. Similar to the reasons why I dig Nia. She seems so cool… so down-to-earth. And her characters are usually the “girl next door”, underdog, “guy friend won’t notice me as something more” type character that I loved and naturally… identified with. While she’s definitely beautiful, she has these rough undertones that makes her more relatable… to me, at least.

– Stacey Dash. I remember when I first saw Clueless, one of my first thoughts was, “Wow, she’s pretty.”*** And whattaya know, this bish has gotten more gorgeous with age. In a society that values youth (coughHollyweirdcough), she’s one lucky missy. Because while she’s always been a pretty woman (and young lady), I must say that she’s upgraded with age. I can say that with confidence. She’s not just drinking the fountain of youth, she’s drinking the fountain of “Upgrade Ya.”

– Kate Winslet. So, in Titanic, I thought she was a feisty, cute and curvy woman. I loved her character and always sensed this understated grace. Then she grew up. And I’ve definitely been paying attention. Yes, she lost weight and has more of a Hollywood-accepted figure, but I think that understated grace that I sensed earlier is in full bloom now. And that’s what makes me crush on her. She still seems like the spunky girl from earlier times, but has this elegance that can’t quite be matched. Plus, she was effing PERFECTION in The Reader.

– Freida Pinto. This chick is effing FLAWLESS to me. Like, in Slumdog Millionaire, we saw her character, Latika through Jamal’s eyes. So, the audience was sort of “forced” to see her as beautiful. But, step back for a minute and actually look at her. Bish is gaw-juss. And she kept reiterating that when she walked the many red carpets throughout the film’s success. She’s pretty much a goddess, IMO.

– Honorable and more recent mention not added in the previous list: Mila Kunis. Yup, Black Swan had everything to do with this addition. I’m sure when I saw her on That 70s Show years ago, I was like, “She cute!”, but never really noticed her since I didn’t look at that show. But, after seeing her recently, I’ve been intrigued. For one, she has one of the most expressive eyes I’ve seen in a while. I like expressive eyes. Like, Michael Jackson swag. Anyway, she hot.

Lady Pinchers, it’s your turn! What are your girl crushes? Do you share any with me? And for my male Pinchers, you can either be brave and list a dude that you may or may not have (at one time) thought was a good lookin’ chap, or you can just enjoy in the girl love. Do it big.

Love ya like Laurie Ann Gibson loves the art of the boom-kack,

Cheekie

P.S. And, yes, I added Prince in the previous list. Ish still applies.

*The title implies something a bit more than what the post actually is, but it was seriously the first thing that I thought of so for folks that was expecting some sort of detailed girl-on-girl pr0n post: um… sorry?
**And by “showed off the belly button”, I mean “pulled up my shirt and tied it so that it was a belly top but only in the privacy of my bedroom while dancing in the mirror because my grandma was having none of that.”
***My second thought was, “Would she really be into Donald Faison, doe?”

Sir. You’re Too Sexy For Your Shirt.

 

This didn't make the list. At all.

You know what I love (that isnt rice, ice cream, Disney or Pixar)?

Men.

You Y-chromosome havin’ mofos are kinda my weakness. Shhh, don’t tell nobody. Hell, don’t tell yourselves or you’ll be forced to use it against me.

Ah, the Male species. How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

Well, I’m not gonna count the ways actually, just list them. Leggo:

– That’s Just My Baby Daddy. Wait, No It Ain’t. Still Hot, Doe. Man, listen. Men with kids is some sexy chocolate ice cream waterfalls ish. There’s something about men interacting with children that makes my nether-regions be all, “Your wish is my command!” And it don’t even have to be a father with his child. Just seeing a guy naturally blend with the kiddies is some sexified ish. The images of a guy carrying his grinning daughter on his shoulders, a guy tossing his tickled son into the air, or a guy standing in front of his classroom of ankle-biters is just… *faints on top of the next thing on the list*

– Can We Talk For a Minute? Boy, I want to… well, hear your voice. I’m a sucker for a nice man voice. The deep timbre, the subtle mischievous lilt, everything about Idris Elba’s voice… all’at. And I adore the husky undertones of a guy’s voice when he first wakes up. That is probably one of the manliest things a guy can do without even trying. And if you use that voice to whisper into my ear? Dude…

– You Don’t Smell Like Teen Spirit. I’ve mentioned my weakness for great cologne game before. And to quote what I told Max in my “Any 10 On Tuesday”, “Hell, you could be Gollum’s nephew and you can make me double-take with some great cologne. Of course, I’d double-take the fuck back to where I was looking before once I saw your mug, but at least you made me look.” That basically sums up how powerful it is. A conservative (emphasis necessary for you Steve-Harvey-suit-wearing-ninjas) amount of cologne definitely upgrades ya on the sex-o-meter by default, in my book.

– Walk This Way. Forgive me Father for I have sinned, but I’mma use this word: swagger. Yup, that’s what makes a great man walk. A man with a dope walk makes me want to get to know him better. I love the easygoing-ness and chill way a man that is sure of himself walks down the street. And no discrimination, but my melanin-brethren have this down pat. Makes me wanna do the come-hither finger-motion. Get yo fahn self over heah…

– Touch Me, Tease Me. I don’t wanna get into every single way a guy touches me that gets me randy because this post will have a 39,758,269* word count. So allow me to specify the one that I think I love the most: touching me on the small of my back. *Leiomy-drops upwards at the very thought* Join me and let’s get inside our minds for a minute. Imagine walking into some generic spot like… the restaurant. As you enter the door, his hand randomly meets the small of your back while he guides you in front of him. Ladies, I’m not just getting shivers up my spine, my spine is actually shivering. Woo, chile.

– Put A Smile On Your Face. I love smiles. I love laughs. Basically, I love happy people. Yeah. YEAH. Yeah. Yeah. But, there’s something to be said about a guy’s smile. Well, when he has a great one. Sorry, Busey. And like the voice, I love a mischievous smile. A sly smile. One that slowly forms from the outermost corners and then breaks out into a full one. This one is usually paired with bedroom eyes or eye-boning, hence the sexiness. And on the laugh tip, I adore a jokester. Just the simple act of being naturally funny is super sexy. Throw a well-timed joke in conversation and I’ll be feeling extra loving after I’ve calmed down from the giggle-fit.

– Just Be A Man About It. Excuse me while I hop in my DeLorean and set women back a few years and say: I love when a man takes control. Well, actually lemme expound. Ok, so, I’m not really a bossy person in general so that’s a part of Leo-ness that I’m not in tune with. However, where I DO identify with my fellow felines is that it’s mighty hard to control me. Like, I automatically reject things not done my way unless you’re well… special. So, I find it extra hot when that guy tells me about myself or demands that I do something. Takes me aback in a good way. But, with anything, too much of it can be a turn-off, of course. Don’t get it Twizzlers-twisted, I’m still on my Janet Jackson control over here.

Pinchers, time to share what you find sexy in the opposite sex. What about men, women, or “other” gets that blood pumping?

 

Love ya like Derwin Davis loves to seduce me (via Tee-Vee) with his boxer briefs,

Cheekie

 

 

 

*I did a real-life calculation to arrive at this number, by the way. o_______O