*looks at some of my light-skint brothas and sistas* OBVIOUSLY, this ain't nuffin new...
I seriously went back and forth (ALL WILLOW AIRTHANG) on whether to call the subtitle of this post, “White Wednesdays.”
Before I get to the ogling and praising, I just want to offer a small note on the title. I don’t mean to belittle our melanin-challenged brothas because all of the following men are foine, regardless. I just immediately thought of the song with the same title when I decided to write this post, naturally. Kumbaya.
Ok, now that I got that young fake disclaimer outta the way.
Everybody and their mama knows I stan for my brothas. Boris and Idris, especially. Sorry, to all ya’ll average Joes, but someone gotta be on top! That’s what she said? Point is, I am equal-opportunity when it comes to eye candy.
*As the brothas get heated because if they did the same thing, a swarm of sistas would bombard their site raising all kinds of hell, but it’s okay for us to do it because it’s “Something New”* Don’t worry (be happy!), ya’ll can bombard here, too if the fact that I’m doing this list makes ya mad. Preferably with your shirt off.
So. Here it is. In no particular order. My Top 10 Eye Candies of the Caucasian Persuasion.
1. Joshua Jackson. Lawd, this is my main boo. I first fell for him during Dawson’s Creek days when he portrayed Pacey. I stanned for that show and I stanned for Pacey/Joey. He’s probably not conventionally good looking (though, he has gotten VERY handsome with age), but what I love most about him is his… yes, I’mma say it… swagger. That voice of his alone makes me melt like Blue Bell ice cream in the Sahara. And that slow smile he does that eventually lights up his whole face… *faints*
2. Ryan Gosling. I probably first truly noticed him (in that way) in the thriller, Murder By Numbers with Sandra Bullock. There was something about that cocky side-grin that did bad things to me. Let’s just say I see why Sandra (allegedly) dated him. He’s a rather lanky fellow, but he is so swoonworthy. And he completely captured my heart in The Notebook and Half Nelson. And to top it off, this ninja is a FABULOUS actor.
3. Clive Owen. Just like Josh above, it’s his voice that does it. Obviously, a good voice is a top quality I love in a man. And I have a thing for raspy, thick, husky voices. The ones that kinda sound like he just got outta bed. Anyhow, I savored every bit of him in the film, Closer, which, for the record? Sucked all kinds of baboon ass. Seriously, the only good things about it were Clive, Jude Law, and Damien Rice’s “The Blower’s Daughter.” Speaking of Jude, doe…
4. Jude Law. It’s probably not everyone’s favorite movie, but I think I really appreciated Jude in Alfie. Watching the scene where he put it on Nia Long’s character was probably one of the sexiest things I’ve seen on a television. He’s just pretty. Period.
5. Jake Gyllenhaal. Yes, I had to Google his name to double-check if I spelt it right. And I did! First try! *flexes on the Spelling Bee* Anyway, this man has THEE most piercing blue eyes evah. And such a great smile! He is just too adorable! Sure, he played a schizophrenic weirdo in Donnie Darko, but he was still a cutie even while having visions of creepy prophetic rabbits!
6. Brad Pitt. This man is just perfect. He’s a living Ken Doll. Let’s just do us all a favor and forget about those bizarre mountain man moments he’s had in recent years. That’s what actors do. I love how he has that conventionally handsome look, but there’s this devilish hint to his smile. Mmmm. And him being a humanitarian doesn’t hurt, either. HOT. Man, is it getting hot in here? Oh, it’s because I’m thinking of that scene between him in Angelina Jolie in Mr & Mrs. Smith right nah. You know what scene. And obviously “Brads” stay winning because…
7. Bradley Cooper. He’s funny and nice to look at! Perfect combo! Though Mr. Chow was probably the guy who had me on the floor while watching The Hangover, I gotta argue that Bradley is a bit easier to look at. Sure, he was kind of an asshole in the movie, but we all know womens love assholes. o_O
8. Gabriel Aubry. kldjfdkgjdjgkl%%$%&&*#@!gjjtetiweouercmdsfgtu$@%@#%!!!@@. You know what I’m sayin’?
9. Robin Thicke. I loved me some Robin Thicke ever since he was rockin the “homeless Jesus” (a fan on a message board pegged him as that and I thought it was spot-on) and he was just “Thicke.” He disappeared for a while* and then returned with a new look. And LAWD did he get all sophisticated. I was like, “SOMEone cleant up good!” He’s a hot tamale. Plus “Wanna Love You Girl” KNOCKS. I love me some “Oh Shooter”, too. Remember, don’t be rapper racist.
10. Hugh Jackman. Naw, not “dancing at the Tony’s” Hugh Jackman, I mean “Wolverine” Hugh Jackman. Hence, my choice in picture. I used to watch X-Men: The Animated Series as a wee Cheekie and I always thought Wolverine was the coolness. When the live-action film series arrived, I was enamored by Hugh’s ruggish, badass Wolverine. I probably had to fan myself inside the movie theater and ya’ll know how White folks they be having the A/C blastin’ up in there.
Whoomp, there it is. My top 10 2520 list! Pinchers, I’mma need you to include some of your faves! Are any of your faves same as mine? Do you think anyone on my list makes you believe I’m blind? I kinda am, since I wear glasses. *sizzle* Oh, and by the way, I don’t wanna exclude my straight male Pinchers. Whitewash away, yourselves. O_O
Love ya like Wendy Williams loves to ask us (with that bass) “How you doin?”,
Cheekie
