Friday Foolery: If There’s A Camel Up A Hill

Way back when (yes, the end of August is “way back when”, this here the future where time moves faster than the road runner on speed), I featured the Indian version of “Thriller” for Friday Foolery. There, I expressed my love for “made-up subtitles” in the comments section.

You know who shares that love? My e-twin, Beez…naturally. I just said August was “way back when.” Well, Beezy F. Baby did a post eons ago featuring one of the funniest videos I’ve ever seen. Ever. In the history of the iris. From the moment I saw it, I knew I’d use it for evil one day. “One day” has arrived, Trick.

Commentary, without Charles Barkley:

0:16 - “Inajinasin?” How much ya’ll wanna bet some hoodrat saw this video and got inspired in regards to a name for her 56th kid?

0:25 – OK, this right here is where it gets good. Not just because it’s a Jay-Z camel up a hill. But, because of the quick Microsoft-esque Clip Art. Blink and you’ll miss it. It’s on some sublimnal speed. Illuminati! SeewhatIdidthere? How I incorporated Jay and…oh, I’mma just hush now. I’ve probably already said too much. *flees Illuminati’s death glare*

0:28 – Not Gong Li! Genius. Memoirs of a Genius.

0:34 – Wayment. So CAMELS are the cause of asbestos? Illuminati invented asbestos? Oh, right, I said I was gonna stop…

0:41 - Ok, so his makeshift shotgun may have been a bit flimsy, but he ain’t playin’! Let him see you run your mother and breaking bottles. There WILL be blood. Watch.

0:45 – Oh, lawd…the Bee Gees. I know they want you to stay alive, but that just kilt me.

1:03 – Ok, this? This…is when I LOST it. It will never be found. “Rape me in my thighs”, doe? Look, I watched this for the first time at work and I had to go to the bathroom so I could cackle in private. I am a visual person so I automatically pictured this hot mess. I need brain bleach, now. Do they sell that at Sam’s Club*? Because I’mma need some of that if I keep hanging around you folks who love to send me such foolery.

1:10 – The cock clip art was très classy. You know this.

1:13 – Lawd. What is “water dessert?” I must know. Those who know me know I love water. And dessert as well. Preferably ice cream. Interestingly enough, ice cream makes you thirsty. Nothing quenches my thirst like water. Boom.

1:23 – Hmm. I wonder what a “tropical priest” is.

1:44 – Hol’ up. He said “I will hunt you damn” all this time? I’m too lazy to rewind. He said that the first time as well? Loves it.

2:02 – Ya’ll saw ol’ girl had to catch his breath? He may be fabulous, but he human. Let him breathe.

2:07 – “Just a little taze.” That’s probably what those cops said when they tased ol’ dude who told them NOT to tase him, bro.

2:27 – Oh, gawd, he will give you plankton! Spongebob, bishes. Remember that “Boy Meets World” episode when Corey was all hypothetical and posited that if he and Topanga had chirruns, their names would be “Chewbacca and Plankton?” You didn’t watch that show? Log off.

2:28 – Aw, snaps! He went up to that Mariah-octave. Except he like 17 floors below it, but still. ‘A’ for effort.

2:32 – “Lesson me around.” I wish I was in school so I could say that to a hot teacher. My Pinchers who are currently students, please do this as I live vicariously through you. Oh, all yo teachers look like Jabba the Hut on a good day? Nevermind then.

2:45 – Ok, this part wins the internet. He said “just a little Tay” and they showed my boo, Tay Zonday. Mayne, I used to bob the hell outta my head to “Chocolate Rain.” I haven’t listened to it in ages. In fact…

*please enjoy this short intermission while Cheekie gets her chocolate rain on*

K, back.

3:05 - I love how precise they are with the subtitles. Every part counts. That’s some dedication for your ass.

3:08 through 3:22 – Um. Those sounds he made, though.

(And the last few seconds are of him pondering how he got to this point in his life)

Aiight, folks, that about wraps it up. Have a fantastic Friday and make sure that your weekend includes breaking bottles if there’s a camel up a hill. Because that camel don’t belong there, dammit! Hov.

Love ya like married folk love their womb more than you single folk,

Cheekie

*Yeah, I know all the cool kids go to Costco, but dude. Those things are like 30 trillion miles away from me in no homie’s land somewhere. I have n’an vehicle.

Friday Foolery: THEE One and Only Samwell

*CHEEKIE NOTE*: Happy Friday, ya’ll. In fact, Happy “Weekend of The 4th.” Which brings me to this note…I ain’t gonna have a post up on the holiday. July 5th, to be exact. As one and a half people leyomi-drop with sorrow. I know, I know. There, there. I will return on Tuesday, July 6th. It will feel like Monday for those who don’t have to work on the holiday*! Also, my Formspring is looking kinda lonely with no questions to answer. Holla at it if you have a chance. Thank you later.

Today’s Double-F (my little cutesy nickname for Friday Foolery I just now came up with at this very moment) feature is presented by the fierce and lovely, I Am Your People. Thank you, girl for reintroducing** this into my life. It was made to be commentated on by me, even though he has no idea who I am.

Ladies, gentlemen, and Ryan Seacrest…I present to you, Samwell:

Linkster

LIVE (no f-bomb delay) commentary:

0:10 – Hol’up! How you gonna start off a video like this with a burning cross? Hell, ANY video.

0:16 – The burning on the cross look like that technicolor mess of a burning bush in the fabulous film, The Ten Commandments. lol

0:25 – I’m, sorry. Is that a chocolate HEART with lips on it?? Ok, I don’t smoke weed, but I know this video is perfect for that kush.

0:25 – He exhaled! Terry McMillan.

0:37 – The heart transformed into a star. And I just now noticed the subtitles. *snort* @ “breath.”

0:44 – And there he is! The man of the hour. Look at that smirk! You can’t tell him SHIT.

0:50 – Well, damn, just go ‘head and automatically start. lol And don’t you love his diction?? You can hear each and every one of those ‘t’s at the end.

0:54 – Well, answer the man! Do you wanna do it in his butt, in his butt, or not?

1:00 - Ok, I crack up when folks answer their own questions. Talmbout, “Okay.”

1:05 – You better work for that paycheck!

1:24 – This songwriter WILL be the next big thing. Sit down Ne-Yo (as his hairline continues to stand) and Keri Hilson.

1:28 – This bish loves himself so much. I ain’t mad at him.

1:32 – OMG, STOP.

1:44 - The different shots are killing me. And, yeah, I’m shaking my cheeks rhythmically in my seat. You are too.

2:00 – Did he just have someone use special effects to make his eyes pop out?! RANDOM. What is he going for, an e-Guinness World Record?? lol

2:04 – Ooh, that chocolate heart look like it has white in the middle. PAUSE. Moving on…it looks like a York Peppermint Patty. I love those. But, it’s with milk chocolate instead. Ok. AHAHAHAHAHA @ “I won’t bite (that hard).” Sounds like somethin’ I would say. o_O

2:19 – I refuse to believe he just busted out the robot. My tummy can’t take it, I’ve already been laughing so damn hard.

2:23 – Ok, how many of ya’ll want those “What What” pants?

2:39 – Look at his facial expressions! He’s so serious about his acting. Eff a method acting. Study Samwellian acting.

2:49 – These lyrics!!

3:02 – Oh, he breakin’ it down now. Jam!!

3:18 – There’s that “breath” again! Also, everyone is singing along at this point. There were already a few of ya’ll singing along, but now everyone has joined in. Even Dick Cheney. Fact.

3:31 – What is that yellow dot behind him? The sun? At night? Wait. No, there goes another one…WTF, looks like they have no idea where to go with this shot. lol

3:38 – Ya’ll heard that laugh? I never woulda pegged that laugh to be his. He sound like an 75 year old uncle. It sounded more like a cough.

Annnnd that wraps it up. In the butt.

Have a wonderful 4th of July, celebrating our freedom, which happens to cost a lot of tax-dollars! I know of n’an better video to celebrate America than the one I posted right there. I’m doing Americans a service! I’m awaiting my key to the city for sharing this with the country, thanks.

Love ya like Mel Gibson loves going batshit every now and again,

Cheekie

*I, however, am not one of those people. *grumblegrumble* I work with the international side of my firm, and they obviously don’t celebrate this holiday so um, they’re still open for business. Yeah, it was only optional to work, but I’m tryin’ to make a good impression with The Man my time-and-a-half, bishes.

**My former coworker first showed this video to me and we both used to CRACK the hell up over it frequently. I even used to send it to her via email when she was having a bad day. It worked. Because it is that incredible.