“I Used To Love H.E.R.” One of my favorite songs by my boo, Common. It brilliantly illustrates his love of hip-hop by using the metaphor of a dope chick. This song is hip-hop and hip-hop is this song.
So, it comes to absolutely no surprise that this song automatically popped into my head when my lowkey hair crush homie Pincher, fuzzytele* tweeted me the following video, which claims to also be hip-hop:
This Is Live Commentary:
0:04 – LOL, oh lawd…
0:05 – WHAT. ARE. THEY. DOING.
0:07 – Ya’ll see the intensity in Justin Bieber’s auntie eyes, tho???
0:10 – Oh, she got a name. Hey, Deena. Or Dina. Or D33na. Whatever. Can I ask you somethin’? Why you got on a goalie shirt? I half expect a commentator to be like, “GOLLLLLLLLLLL”** later on in the video.
0:12 – Wow, she just gettin’ right to it! Talmbout look at her feet. *looks*
0:18 – Let’s talk about how her accent sounds country and Idaho-ish*** at the same time. But, back to her feet. She over there explaining why you DON’T want your feet straight ahead. She wants you to turn ‘em out like Charlie Brown an’nem.
0:20 – Look at her shoulders go! That’s how you make it look like hip-hop. Wait… that’s how hip-hop LOOKS?! The entire essence of hip-hop?! The very idea of it?! Wow, mystery of the universe… solved.
0:24 – “The thing with hip-hop is that everything’s down low.” Um… pause. She done called out every bit of the hip-hop culture. Dry snitch!!!
0:31 – Why did she randomly appear with that jacket she got from Walgreens, tho?
0:34 – Awww, she tellin’ us her childhood stories so that we can be sympathetic to her. Protagonist swag.
0:37 – She just THREW that jacket to the ground. I have a feeling that is a symbol of rebellion, because well…
0:38 – “… ya know what, I won’t stand up straight.” AWWWWWW snap crackle AND pop! You better ROLL your neck, figuratively, Deena/Dina!
0:44 – I seriously guffawed here. She was like, “Hit. AH. Hit. UH.” I guess that’s her version of the “boom kack.” And those shoulders won’t QUIT!
0:47 – “The more relaxed you are, that’s what makes it hip hop.” Now, I gotta agree with her here. What makes rhythm so fluid is that it’s effortless. But, for some reason, her moves don’t scream “relaxed” to me. Despite her “relaxed” arms, she still look like she tryin too hard. LOL
0:53 – WTF was that?! Ya’ll saw that thrown-in random clip, right? And then she just went back to teaching? Did I imagine this? She was like, “And this the first thing I’m gonna say to ya’ll, if you wanna do hip-hop, you gotta stand like this.” *cheesy urban pose* Oh, aiight…
0:57 – THAT’S the hip-hop head, huh. So, for all ya’ll new new ninjas that say you’re a hip-hop head, you BEST pay homage to Deena/Dina.
0:58 – The hip-hop head going up and down, tho…
1:01 – Awwww snap, she just did the “you got served” hands… WITH the “ahhhhhh” exhalation. STEP. to her.
1:06 – Now leanback. LEANback. LEANback. LEANback.
1:07 – 1:12 – dljfldfjdfidrufweodjmdslfjdlsfjsdofjsdlkfdljlksd
1:18 – Ya’ll got that? Ah. Straight. AH. Straight. No homo.
1:26 – Here we go with another “one time at band camp” story… wayment. OMG, NO BAGGY PANTS AND NO SNEAKERS?! That’s not hip-hop, is it??? Lawd, DeenaDina, PLEASE tell us you told them bout themselves!
1:29 – “…and, and, I just didn’t know what to think about that.” *quick cut back to teaching.* … ( -_-)
1:30 – “I took these from an African piece.” Oh, herewego…
1:36 – Sooooooo lemme get this 180 degrees straight. In Africa, the move is done with closed-fists, but in hip-hop (which is a continent now #also #aswell, I guess…) it’s done with your fingers spread out? Gotcha.
1:37 – Yes, a BIG difference.
1:38 – 1:44 – Hmmm… k.
1:50 – Ok, seriously who edited this?! LMAO But, I love how she had to let ya’ll know that this (this, being hip-hop I’m sure) is her. This who she is. Ain’t no 3 dolla bills here!
1:54 – Did this lady just say she’s into “points” a lot?
1:58 – *points with various pops and locks* THE DEF JAM.
2:08 – Ya’ll she spoke that WORD just now. She said hip-hop is in here (ya’ll heart), so it can NEVER go out. It can never go what? OUT. Shouldaboughtahonda.
2:12 – WOW, oh DeenaDina, Duchess of Rappity Rap****, please teach me that intricate and magical dance step you just did.
2:18: If she interrupt with some “pearl of wisdom” (more like gold-plated chain of ignance) ONE MO’ ‘GAIN…
2:21 – LMAO, how she gon’ say, “I’mma tell ya another thing that makes hip-hop, hip-hop”, then cut to those frantic dancers, the very opposite of what hip-hop will ever be?
2:40 – o_O Yeah, guess who else lookin’ at you like you crazy…
2:43 – OF COURSE she did the B-boy pose! Because that is… um, what’s it called again? I forgot because she didn’t mention it enough in the video.
2:47 – Peace. She out!
No no, ya’ll… PLEASE stop.
Pinchers, what you think of Deena/Dina’s tutorial on all hip-hop airthang? Would you take one of her classes? Because who I’m talmbout ya’ll is hip-hop.
Love ya like President Obama loves sign language,