Friday Foolery: Musical Mathematics

One of my favorite music groups. (You got this song in your head now, dontcha? INCEPTION.)

As you know, I spend a lot of time dissecting foolery. Approximately once a week, to be exact. Wait… what?

Still, I’m vain self-aware enough to turn the lens on myself every so often. In fact, I did just that some time ago when I wrote a letter to Subway and TNT. Update That You Don’t Care About But I’mma Tell Myself That You Do In Order To Sleep At Night (or UTYDCABITMTYDIOTSAN for short): Neither company has responded to my very sincere (o_O) letters. However, as I know of the possible volume of letters they receive, I shall throw n’an tantrum. Yet.

As with most foolish-inspired inspirations, my desire to write yet another letter spawned from a random exchange.

Alise and I were naturally lollygagging in the Chats of Google when the following occurred:

11:46 AM
me: …
someone said #newaddition (All-Mighty Editor’s Note: this was said on Twitter, btw)
11:50 AM
Alise: Nooooo
11:51 AM
Old subtraction
me: i REALLY want sesame street to make that a schtick now
with new edition esque muppets
hell i may write a post about that

Pfffft. “May” nothin‘! Like Eli, I diiiiid it! I eWalked my butt right up to Sesame Street’s “Contact Us” page and sent them the following letter…

Salutations!

Hope it is still a sunny day over there! Though, as I look up at the sky from the window of my employer’s high rise building,  I do have a sneaking feeling that you “swept” the clouds away… all the way to Chicago. But, no worries, because I am a proponent of the old “sharing is caring” adage.

Ah! It seems as if I’ve lost my way. Let’s get to the point, shall we…

I’ve been a devoted fan of Sesame Street for years. My dear mother and/or grandmother would plop me down in front of the television set (I do believe televisions still came in sets in the early 80s, right?) every morning in lieu of a babysitter. And what a babysitter it was!

From the moment I saw the Muppets dance across my screen, Big Bird tower over the humans, and Snuffleupagus slowly waddle across the cobblestone streets, I was in love. I’d also like to take it upon myself to inform you of my favorite character: The Count. The rumbling of his  “ah-ah-ah” cackle continues to dwell in the corners of my heart and follow me through adulthood.

Because Sesame Street has and will forever be a part of my life, I figured a good way to express my devotion would be to somehow contribute to your furthering success. An act of “paying it forward”, if you will.

Recently, I was conversing (please note: because your show set the mark for my eagerness to learn, I can say with confidence that I have you to thank for the fact that I’m using the word “converse” instead of the oft-misused, “conversate.” I salute you.) with a friend and amongst our exchange of ideas, I proposed that we incorporate one of music’s most effervescent R&B groups into your lovely program.

The group? New Edition. The concept? New Addition. While it will be supremely ideal if the group reunited once again for this hypothetical episode, at the very least, it would be a great idea to create an honorary parody of the group using the honorable Jim Henson’s Muppets. The Muppets can sing songs in the spirit of teaching children the wonderful world of mathematics. Knowledge is quite the powerful siren song.

I appreciate you taking this concept into consideration and I look forward to speaking with a representative in the near future so that we can discuss it in further detail. Perhaps over a cup of coffee as we sit upon Luis and Maria’s front stoop? Have your Muppets call my people.

Have a splendid day, evening, and night.

Room Temperature Regards,

Cheekie

Pinchers, pray for me. Promptly. And that’s all I’mma say about that. Oh, wait, before I go: How ya’ll like my idea? Would you watch that? Or have your kids watch it?

Love ya like DMX loves the opposite of Drake’s haircut,

Cheekie