Beeeeeeee prepaaaaaaaaarrrred.
Before I begin, I’mma need ya’ll heathens to get your mind out of the gutter regarding that title up there. I’m talmbout hair. Of the natural variety.
…
*as I lose several hundred hits from that statement*
So. My sister always tells me that I “attract crazy.” Looking at the various random circumstances in my life, I can’t quite say that she’s wrong. And my fave cousin agrees and says that it makes sense because I’m a writer. Material… girl.
Recently, I came across one of those “crazy” encounters on a quick trip to Walgreens. And I mean, quick. As in, I wasn’t really even buying anything as I was just going to the Chase Bank ATM.
The following exchange was SO o_O-worthy, I had to share it with a few of my homies. And I then realized that I also had to share it with you: my Pinchers. You da homie, too.
Lookey here:
*i wait in this long ass line that i thought would be shorter since it’s later in the day and not a rush lunch hour*
This man with locs walks in staring at me. he looks like somebody’s daddy. and i know younger guys that are somebody’s daddy, but you know what i’m talmbout. lol… actually, he look like somebody’s uncle.
He stands behind me.
Uncle Locs (UL): you gonna get me some money, too?
me: *laughs*
UL: so just a laugh, no yes or no?
me: *still laughing* um, i was thinking about it… yeah.
UL: mmmhmmm, i’m just saying i didn’t get no christmas present or nuffin so i figured…
me: it was worth a try. *smile*
*shuffles through purse to take out wallet to have it ready since i’m in a rush*
UL: yo, i love your hair sista!
me: *legit smile* Awwww, thanks so much! (actually I was on a high because a lady had PRAISED my hair when i got off the train… she actually ran to catch up to me because i was on my downtown strut, tapped me on the shoulder to tell me she loved my hair and what products i use… she had locs too… and they were gorgeous… anyway… omg i’m rambling…)
UL: you ever think about loccing it?
me: not at the moment… still on a big hair high.
*the line moves up and it’s about to be my turn… i start to walk up to the machine*
UL: hey, you know why your hair is like that? wiry and curly?
me: *looks back* I don’t…
UL: because it’s the antenna to the world.
me: o_O (still smiling) oh?
UL: yeah you know that about antennas… how non-straight ones get better reception…
me: oh yeah yeah…
UL: mmmmhmmm, yup. (he said the mmmhmm like he really said something deep)
me: wow, good to know *gets my effing money and wishes him a good day, walks out walgreens and busts the eff up laughing*
Fin.
(yes, i willingly entertain folks like this on the regular.)
Yuuuuuup.
Part of me (approx. 75%) wishes I had engaged him more, but I had to get back to the plantation to take care of some bidness. Cash over crazy, yo.
Pinchers, what do you think about ol’ dude? Is he nuts? One of those ninjas that try to be deep yet fail? Or does he actually have a point? Learn me something if he does.
Love ya like the internets love to analyze a celebrity’s baby name,
Cheekie
That was a deep failure….. he probably went in with intentions to mystify and explode your brain which could not fathom his views, only to fall so short people wonder if you even moved at all
#mindblown
Argh! You should have picked his brained more, Cheeks. He probably had some secrets & conspiracy theories for dat a§§… a weeks worth of post. I love the eccentric minded mortals!!
Girl, I’m kicking myself over not engaging longer but I really had to get back. Bossman rules everything around me. B.R.E.A.M.
#DeepFail
Wait was that pause worthy? o.O
But no, crazy Uncle Loc was just trying to make you engage in his depth. If you’d have engaged more who knows if you’d have gotten out of that Wal-Greens without feeling mentally accosted.
LOL, right. I KNEW I was in for a long haul, so I had to pick my battles. If I was free, doe? I woulda definitely kept it going. Maybe even waited for him to get his money to talk more hahaha.
this story will never cease to slay me.
never.
*walks away still laughing
Yes, this experience slayed me on some Buffy ish. OF COURSE I had to share. lol
This was hilarious.. and I bet you, in his head, this whole antennae thing made perfect sense.. #LawdHelpUs..
He definitely sold it like he was LEARNIN me something. I feel so enlightened. *beams*
And you know that those of us with locs are more “locked in” to what’s going on around us. WE ARE!
-__-
We’re really not.
*falls out*
no effin joke, a guy told me this a few years ago when I first loc’d my hair up! He’s like, ‘do you palm roll?’ and I’m like, ‘yeah, but I wanna try interlocki-’ he yelled like, ‘No! Don’t do that. Those are your antennae and that’s how you connect to the world (#noAvatar) And when you interlock, you’re going through the connection….’ Once he started talkin about how they were trying to steal my spirit (through interlocking) I had to cut the convo short. Man, now I hafta believe there’s some sorta religion / teacher telling them these things.
LMFAO @ the fact this is something more than one person is saying. Then again, the way he said it, I had a feeling he wasn’t the only one who thought this. In fact, I was HOPING someone else would come here and either say they believe it or heard someone say it. YASSSS.
No! lmao!
If you had engaged him for conversation, you’d have missed the rest of work and lost your job! lmao He would have had you locked into a long ass conversation that spiraled out into all kinds of off conspiracy theories.
Ok?! He LOOKED like the ninja who could go on for hours… I could tell. Even when I was obviously about to be busy with getting some cash money out the ATM, he kept talking. He was definitely a convo-locker, I could tell that from the jump. And I woulda been cool with that had I been free. lol
Because material for a writer? >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>