*CHEEKIE NOTE*: Pinchers, this Saturday I’m heading to Cancun for about a week. Yup, that means next week I’ll be eGhost. I know you hate to see me go, but love to watch me leave but I shall return in July! I will miss you muchly! Aw, don’t cry…
But, SPEAKING of crying…
The following video contains all kinds of WTF-ery. It’s just so — well, lemme back up and tell you how I came across it.
I was partaking in Gchat with L Boogie when she directed me to Phonte’s current Twitter avatar (follow him here if you ain’t already; he is TOO foolish). Which, just to be clearer than Johnny Nash can see now that the rain is gone, it is NOT a picture of Phonte himself. The actual dude’s name is “Sire.” (as I sit here wondering who sired him) \(-_-)/ Ok.
I, of course, fell out laughing in my eDramatic way, but then she decided to kill me even further* by linking the source:
You Can’t Hear My Live Commentary, So Read It:
0:02 – Hol’ up. Wayment. (Wayment. Hol’ up!) Did he just jack the set from “Between Two Ferns?” Lawd, rent really IS too damn high.
0:04 – That curl, doe. It isn’t just making his soul glow, it’s making it glisten. Ol’ emollient soul. Somewhere beneath a pile of pictures from his Twitter groupies, Fiddy Cent is WISHING his F-Curl (you can guess what the F stands for; it can actually be a few things) could get to that level of dopeness.
0:05 – Was that a gotdang compact disc in the background?!
0:09 – Uh-oh, Sire is pattin’ the side of his thigh. You know what THAT means. He is about to go INNNNNNNNNN…
0:14 – ( ._.) WAIT. Tell me he is just warming up. Because I am about to BUST out laughing.
0:19 – “HWHOAAAAAAA, Mama Mia Mama Miaaa.” Mama Mia, indeed. My, my.
0:24 – This dude said, “Tiny little tears, smaller than adult tears.” *falls the EFF out thanks to the law of foolery AND gravity.” Ok, that line won me over. I want this entire song on a t-shirt. Not the lyrics. I mean, I want this video playing on a t-shirt. No buffering.
0:30 – I’m mad he keep sayin’ “Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaa” as if he is JAMMIN (on the one). I believe it is an unwritten rule that you can only do vocal acrobatics such as this when you actually sound good doing so. I mean, you can’t be adding extra ish to a song when no one wants to even hear the basic bish lyrics. Right? Am I right?! Of course I’m right. I’m a chick. Zing!
0:32 – Ok, he can hear the children cry, but can he hear ME crying from laughter? Pinchers, I am DONE for. Lawdhamercy.
0:37 – You saw that little neck-pop he did just then? Like, he just KNOW he a dime. Mmmhmm.
0:40 – WHY is that CD spinning back there? Is that his demo?
0:53 – Did he just try vibrato? Ma’am. And “Louder than the loudest sound.” ??? How does that work… exactly?
0:59 – That DVD cover, doe!!! Why dude look so forlorn?!
1:01 – Didn’t it look like Sire was finna say (or “sing”) somethin’ else at the very end? LMAO. Womp.
Yo, I love how I laughed at the video longer than the actual duration of the video. I’m STILL laughing. Alas, it was a shorty, but goodie. That’s not even what she said.
Oh, and yes, That Damn African, I am now a bit more familiar with “Tim & Eric Awesome Show.” Life is quite the humorous experience. (Bit.ly shortened the previous statement to “Life is funny”, btw)
Well, Pinchers, hope you enjoyed today’s foolishness! Have a fabulous remainder of the month!
Love ya like superhero movies love the summer,
P.S. I’m seriously gonna be humming this song on the plane ride to Cancun. I’m also going to be deeply pondering why I can’t hear the children cry… SMH @ my entire vacation.
P.S.S. Bonus pinchable points to the Pincher who can guess what I’m referring to in the title of today’s post!