Sleep (Not So) Tight

YASSSSSSS!

I love sleep. Sleep and I are soulmates. Daydreaming is foreplay.

But, maybe I love sleep too much. Meaning, I enjoy it so much, whoever is in bed with me isn’t taken into much consideration. What am I getting att here? Shall I get my Cutco knife and cut to the chase? Wellllll…

I’m a wild sleeper.

That’s right. If you sleep with the cheeks, you will engage in war with the cheeks. I was recently reminded of this fact during my trip to Dee Cee. When we were there, our sleeping arrangements were this: some of us slept at L Boogie’s crib and some at MsEsquire’s crib. I slept at the former’s. And somehow*, I got V.I.P. status and got to sleep in L Boogie’s bed.

I have a strange feeling that shat won’t ever occur again. *giggle*

Allegedly — as told by L Boogie — on one of the nights, I started on my side of the bed and then ended up all the way over on her side. To the point where she ended up on the very edge of the bed. She even demonstrated her placement by putting her hand on the bed all, “You had me right here *places hand WAY on the edge*”. And the last night, I was (apparently) so bad, she had to actually get out of bed and move to the front room on some “make a pallet” ish. Talmbout some, “Girl I wanted to move you and/or nudge you awake, but you were snoring and sleeping so soundly, I just decided to leave.” Hmph. Methinks she was exaggerating.

See, the main reason why she felt I was a cool sleeping buddy was because in Miami, we shared a bed and I stayed on my side of the bed. In fact, both of us pretty much stayed on each edge of the bed. Like, the middle was hardly — if ever — touched those nights. Bet the middle felt like the other side of the pillow in the summer.

Yeah… um, notttttttt so much this time. Thing is, with me, when I’m more comfortable I tend to get more… well… comfortable. I had pretty much made myself at home right away at her crib and I displayed that comfy-ness via Rapid Eye Movement (REM). Except, I be on that Rapid Cheek Movement (RCM) swag.

In fact, lemme give ya’ll some backstory on my sleepytime chronicles…

I believe I told ya’ll that I used to hang around big sis Chyna’s friends when I was a wee Cheekie. *checks* Why yes, I did allude to that. Yeah, I was pretty much gangsta hanging with the older folks at about 3 years old. Anyway, one of her best friends (in fact, it was the one mentioned in the prior link), used to adore me** and enjoyed being around me.

So, one night, it was time for me to go to bed and Chyna sent me away to go to sleep. However, her girl insisted that I sleep with her that night. Convo went a little something like this:

Chyna’s Friend (CF): Aw, let [Cheekie] sleep with me! I luh her! She so cute!
Chyna: o_____O Girl, no. You have no idea what you’d be gettin’ into.
CF: What you talmbout? I luh my little [Cheekie]!
Chyna: Girl, that little heffa sleep WAY too wild. You have no idea.
CF: Aw, come on, she can’t be that bad. It should be fun! Plus she wants to sleep in the bed with me. Don’t you, [Cheekie]?
Cheekie: *nods with mouth full of candy* <<~~ (Trust me, while I’m dramatizing this whole thing… I BET this part is the most accurate.)
Chyna: Ok, girl, but don’t say I ain’t warned you.
CF: *brushes Chyna off with a wave of her hand*

~~~ THE NEXT MORNING ~~~

CF: Oh mah GAWD!! *runs into Chyna’s room*
Chyna: What?!
CF: I woke up this morning and [Cheekie's] damn FOOT was IN-SIDE my mouth!!
Chyna: *cracks the hell up*

-____________-

All this slander, yo. Well, not so much slander as… I mean, it’s true and everything but…

ANYWAY.

Pinchers, help me feel better and not alone. Do you have any sleeping struggles? Does your snore sound like a freight train? Do you recite monologues in your sleep? Ever did the Cuba Gooding Jr. Air-Punch whilst asleep and end up knocking out your sleeping buddy? Do share. Even if you’ve done the last one. Especially if you’ve done the last one.

Love ya like Bell Biv Devoe loves Poison,

Cheekie

*I paid her.
**Who wouldn’t? (Oh right, L Boogie and That Damn African. They don’t count, doe.)