Somethin' For Side-Eyes: Let It Marinate

 

His last name is “Johnson”, and he’s getting soaked. What I did there… you see it?

Sometimes you come across a story in the media and the only thing you can muster at the time is:

o_O

Yeah, that’s kinda how I felt when the homie, Keisha Brown decided to share this. <<~~ That is probably not so safe for work.

After a little bit of shock, awe, confuddlement, and questions from the title alone, I decided to read up a little bit more on it. The article discusses the art of “dick-soaking”, which has apparently been practiced within the Mormon faith for quite some time. Hit up the Urban Dictionary definition (#2) here.

Basically, this practice is about men being able to marinate their man-parts on some dick Lawry’s ish so that they can feel the bliss that is the cooch-hug, without actually getting to the happy ending.

This all brings up a couple of points:

– Loosely Defined. Of course, the modernization of many societal aspects (such as technology or media) includes sex in some form. I mean, it makes sense that the main thing that drives our choices (other than money) would be altered in a way to match the changing world we live in. Mormonism, at its purest, is a very strict practice and yet the many young folks that are born into it are expected to adapt to it, despite the fact that the world today is leaning toward… well… not-so-strict. This paradox leads the younger generation toward changing the definition of what constitutes as sex so that they can feel better about possibly going against their strong morals. And the strong morals bring me to…

– Holier Than Thou? Not So Much. Lemme get this 180 degrees straight from the jump. I’m not one to look down on anyone’s faith just because it doesn’t mirror mine. Hell, the way I see it, we have one main thing in common: We have faith. What I cannot stand is the hypocrisy laced within being holier-than-thou.* I mean, being involved in this peen-soaking method pretty much excludes you from standing on a high moral pedestal, in my honest opinion. And this is not to say that everyone who practices this religion (or any other one that doesn’t condone pre-marital sex) are holier-than-thou, because that’s obviously not true. My point is that if do you feel that you can be holier than thou and still partake in this… well, you can’t. I mean, at one point, any penetration meant sex, now it’s only if there’s geyser explosion involved?  So, I guess that means that the TONS of women who believe they haven’t yet experienced an orgasm during penetrated sex are still virgins? Oh.

Ah well, lemme digress ASAPtually. Pinchers, the (heated) floor is yours. What say you? Speak (er… type) on it.

 

Love ya like Ochocinco loves to believe his last name means “eighty-five”… except it doesn’t,

Cheekie

 

P.S. Yeah, so a former Mormon says this entire practice is falseness, but then a commenter on this post says that it is true and has been for years. Whoever to believe, I think the above post is still relevant even if ONE person is doing it…

 

 

 

*This is not dissimilar to Huckabee lambasting Natalie Portman for getting married outta wedlock and “parading” it around, even though no one remembers any similar statements when Bristol Palin, Sarah Palin & Co did the same thing, arguably at a higher rate. Funny, since the main difference between the two girls is that one is GROWN and the other one was a minor. Huh. I mean, if you’re gonna judge, judge all the way around, not only for folks that share your agenda. And for the record, I don’t see anything “wrong” with either case.