A Very Cheekie Christmas: Memories Light The Corner Of My Mind

*CHEEKIE NOTE*: (in my Marty-Mar voice) Wazzup, wazzup, wazzzzzzzzzzzap! Today’s post starts a week of Christmas goodness. Yup, I dedicate this entire week to Christmas. I have to! It’s my favorite-test holiday in the history of fruitcake.* So, today will be about my memories and Wednesday will be completely dedicated to toys. Oh, Friday? (-_____-) I’m (as well as many others, are) off that day so no Friday Foolery this week. Blame it on the Romans for making Christmas on a Saturday this year or something.

The little honey in the orange that moves his head from side to side? GETTIN' IT.

I said it up there in my little note, but lemme point this out again (especially for those who bypass the note since I’m always spreading bad news or trying to explain myself for screwing up), Christmas is my favorite holiday. Of — wait, what’s that superlative expression used for something special to show that nothing else compares to it? I think some young chap made it infamous via stolen microphone. Ah well, I’ll think of it. o_______O

Like many other special times in my life, Christmas brings lots of fond memories. For me, there are certain things that need to be present** when Christmas rolls around for it to actually be, ya know… Christmas. Here are my top three (excluding toys, because, remember, toys must have its own post):

1. The Good Grief. A Charlie Brown Muthafuggin Christmas. The OG version. The only one that exists. Man, I’m tellin’ ya’ll. This animated movie is EVERYTHANG to me during the holidays. I was almost about to cancel Christmas this year because I thought I missed the television broadcast. Sure, I could watch it on the internets or even the ol’ dusty VHS tape I have (mmhmm), but it ain’t the same! *throws tantrum* Thank the lawd for @MsEsquire77 and her booski for informing me of the second airing! I got to watch it this year! I’ve been watching this joint every year since I was a kid at my grandma’s house. Everything about it brings me life. The malnourished Christmas tree (the twinkle sound the leaves make when they fall is just…), Schroeder playing different versions of “Jingle Bells” for Lucy, Snoopy’s laugh at Charlie Brown’s fail, EFFING LINUS’ CHRISTMAS MONOLOGUE, the Charlie Brown Crew Christmas Juke, the crew oooooooh-ing “Hark The Herald Angels Sing”, man the list can go on, but if I do, I’mma probably write the script for the entire movie. Which, speaking of… I say, “entire” as if it’s the longest movie ever, but didn’t it seem that way as a kid? It seemed like a feature film, but as I watch it as an adult, I realize that movie is like 5 minutes long. Or, 25 minutes in non-cheekiedramatic time.

2. The King. No, not that one. Not that one, either. Naw, not even that one. Or that one. I’m talmbout Nat King Cole, niccas! Ok, so I’ve never heard him referred to as “The King”, but I consider him such. The King of Christmas. His version of “A Christmas Song” is the only version that matters. Point. Blank. And yeah, period, too. I remember when I first heard this song as a wee chile. I was in the car with Mama Cheekie and she started playing it. I can’t even accurately describe (in detail) the feeling I got listening to Mr. Cole croon, but it was definitely of Christmas. My favorite line of that song was (and forever will be), “And so, I’m offering this simple phrase, to kids from 1 to 92.” I thought that was SUCH a dope line. Still do. When I first heard it, I turned to my mama and smiled with a stifled giggle. I thought it was HILARIOUS that he would call someone who is 92 years old, a kid. The way he says “AND so…” is greatness. He so proper. Every year following that moment, I look forward to hearing that joint on the radio. In fact, this past weekend I was at the diner with Mama Cheekie after a day of shopping and it came on. My mama and I (AND the waitress) were all singing it. It was like a corny Christmas movie. Which equals perfection in my book.

3. The Pomp. The Circumstance. This one is obvious. The tree. There is not much else that gets me giddier than decorating the Christmas tree. My love for the Christmas tree is so infamous that I am officially in charge of putting up/decorating my sister’s (where we usually have Christmas since she has the little kid). It has been especially fun since my nephew was born because, ya’ll… the look on his face when I first light it up? Is every single thing to me.*** This year was especially cool because I got to sing Kanye’s “All of the Lights” while putting the lights on. Which is apt. I love apt moments. Oh, and I can’t forget wrapping presents. Ish is WAY too fun to me. Also done to singing/listening to music.

Aiight, I’ll wrap**** it up there. Pinchers, ’tis yo turn. What (TOY-LESS. I said toys are for Wednesdays) memories from Christmas do you want to share? What is that one (or two, or three, or infinite number of) thing that you have to indulge in, in order for Christmas to be officially official?

And I sweahfogawd, if you ignore the rules and list some toys today you will not get any Christmas pinches from me. And YES, that is considered a gift.

 

Love ya like America loves obsessing over another country’s royal family,

Cheekie

 

 

 

*If you actually LIKE fruitcake, God bless ya. I can’t think of one person who does. So if you do, holla at me so I can say that I do know someone who likes it. I’d like to cross that off my bucket list. Kthx.
**See what the frick I DID there?!
***That lasts all of 5 minutes. And then he starts to destroy it by taking most of the ornaments off and obliterating them. Ah, 3 year olds. Hell, at age TWO, he knocked the entire tree down. A six-foot-five tree. Incredible Hulk self.
****I effing did it AGAIN. You see it?! Put on your glasses. Or your monocle if you fancy, huh. See it now?!!!