*CHEEKIE NOTE*: First off, I just want to acknowledge that, yes, I coulda BEEN wrote about this, but I’m Black. *neck rolls and pops gum*
So, a few weeks ago (The weekend of October 21st to be exact), I decided to take a trip to meet and (further) bond with a few ladies I had only developed an eFriendship with. We all decided on Miami and baddabing. We did the dayum thing.
I went back and forth on whether to do an eRecap of the vacay (basically, it was a war between me and laziness) and then I read this chick’s retrospective. Got me all verklempt and reminiscent. Grrr! Argh.
But, seriously, I loved reliving those moments in my head this past week and those memories are why I have to list…
The Six Best Moments Of Miami With The Hot Mamas.
1. The Beach. Lawhamercy, can I just tell ya’ll that the weather by the beach was perfect. Because the motherlovin’ weather by the beach was perfect. The ocean breeze was the breath of Jesus H. Christ, on the real. I mean, we have beaches in the Chi, but I’ont e’en get mad when folks say that ain’t a real beach. IT AIN’T. That’s just some dayum lake effect ish. Lake Michigan, I’m happy for you and I’mma let you finish but the Atlantic Ocean has the best beaches of ALL TIME. And yes, I just brought that Kanye-inspired dead horse back out the barn to beat it. Oh, and other than chillin’ like a topnotch villain on the lounge chair, my favorite part of the beach was when the ocean kept attacking MsEsquire everytime she went near it. Um, let’s just say it got to know her very well without even buying her dinner first.
2. The Bagels. We all clicked so well that we shaped our own little breakfast routine from the jump. The very first morning (with us all together) we went to Einstein Bros. Bagels for breakfast. And every single morning after that. When we walked up in there the second day, everyone in the joint would shout, “Norm!” Ok, that’s a damn lie. But, the employees did remember our names and developed a rapport with us. Tasty bagels form friendships, ya’ll. Dem bagels are BAWSE, doe. We get them every so often for morning work meetings or when the head honcho is feeling the giving-spirit. So, if you ain’t up on that young Einstein, you best recognize. *as I wait for my commission that I’ll never get since no one of that stature is checking for my rinky-dink blog*
3. The Pigeons. In Chi City, our pigeons are pretty gangsta. They walk around like their milky shit don’t stink all, “Dis here MY turf.”… with a strut. They don’t really run away from pedestrians, they just co-habitate with them. They can be nuisances, but unless you’re an Ornithophobe or you happen to walk past the mofo who swears on dropping popcorn for these flying niccas, they’re pretty much a backdrop. Just a part of the city. Not in south Florida, doe. The pigeons there are far more aggressive. They ain’t just gangsta, they are the effing Don. Every one of ‘em. We’d chill on the balcony every so often and one would just fly up in our faces and chill on the balcony as if they chipped in on the hotel fee. And as I mentioned before, the breeze was heavenly so we’d leave the balcony door open and at one point, a pigeon flew on the balcony right next to the door. We rushed to close the door because if that mofo flew in? Well, let’s just say I’d be posting video footage right here. Missed opportunities, huh?
4. The Fast-Food Flub. So, prior to this trip I had been talmbout how I’d never had Chick-Fil-A before. Well, errbody was like, “WHAAAA?!” (I know, right?!) so I planned to visit while down there. The funny thing about it is that I am so unfamiliar with it, that I had been mispronouncing it in my head for the longest. So, I asked Nick about it while we were all lounging around in the hotel room and the exchange went a little somethin’ like dis:
Cheekie: Oh! So, we need to go to that place, um…Chick-FILL-Ah.
Nick: Huh? Oh… Chick-Fil-LAY?
Cheekie: O_____O Oh. AsyoucantellI’veneverbeenthere.
MsEsquire: Did you just say, “Chick-FILL-Ah?! You’re so cute!”
All Us: *busts out laughing*
I’m so damn country. Anywho, we didn’t end up going because I was feeling lazy at the moment and had just eaten (I can’t think about food when I’m still full, makes me sick) so I missed out. Good news is, though, one is opening (or probably has opened by now) in Orland Park, which is only about 15 miles from the city. *fist pump* By the way, I’m also awaiting the commission from Chick-Fil-LAY that I’ll never get as well.
5. The Fashion Show. Nick hooked us up and got us into a fashion show that her girl’s bathing suit line (which was pretty cool!) was featured in. It was fun times and for a good cause (Breast Cancer Awareness). The venue was swanky, the models were purty (lawd, the MEN! *faints at the thought of that one dude in dreadlocks*), and the crowd was live. Because we’re all the ratchet children of the future, we all decided to tweet and roast some aspects. The entertainment, for one. Girl was super cute and twee, rockin’ her 80s side ponytail. But when she sung? O______O She’d do this screech at the end of each note, which was obviously intentional and it was her thang, but The Lord looked at her like, “Saddown, my child.” Oh, and the host was kind of a douche. He was a local news reporter and had that “trying too hard” thang about him. He attempted some joke and I turnt to MsEsquire and was like, “Girl, if my eyes rolled any more, they’d be on a river.” Yup. Sums it up. It was fun, though. I think I developed like ten cavities when the kid models strutted their stuff. My ovaries were like, “THIS is what you want in yo life.” Then my bank account retorted, “STFU, not now, she ain’t ready.”
6. The Question. After the fashion show, L-Boogie (as livelovelibra is known in VSB quarters) and I decided to hit up the Tiki Bar near the hotel beach for a couple of late night dranks. Down there, we chatted it up and, of course, drank it up. Then, all of a sudden, we saw one of the designers from the fashion show (with his flamboyantly fierce self) and his toasted friend. She sat next to us and made convo. I was classy and tipsy so I remember this convo. The lady who initiated it probably does not. That’s what the internets is fo. Preservation. It went down somethin’ like this:
Slurring Sasha (I don’t know why, but she look like a Sasha): So, how are you two ladies doing?
Us: We cool.
Slurring Sasha: Ya’ll went to the fashion show?
Slurring Sasha: You two here together?
Us: *slight pause* Yeah…
Slurring Sasha: You’re a couple? *inches a little closer*
Us: *laughs* No, we’re together…literally. We’re here with 3 other people.
Slurring Sasha: Ohhh, ok… *shimmies unwillingly in her seat and chugs some more of her drank*
So, yeah… a 2520 middle-aged (well, at least she appeared to be. my bad, if she wasn’t.) lady lowkey hit on us with the “are you a couple” type come-on. Well, maybe she wasn’t hitting on us and was just drunkenly flirty, but I’mma just pretend that was the case because L-Boogie and I ARE pretty fly. *shake-em-off*
Annd, that’s about it.
Oh! Wait, duh. The thing I MOST loved about the trip. One thing that deserves to be special and separate from the reglah list. The gals themselves!
Nick: I love your enthusiasm and how you randomly burst into yardie-speak. It is TOO cute and endearing. Thanks for hosting this!
Max: I love your sauciness and exurberence for all thangs foreign to you. Also, I still say you should be a model.
L-Boogie: I love your sarcasm and wit. And I’mma steal yo Macbook Pro if I don’t get one within the next year. Watch owwwwt!
MsEsquire*: I love your nuturing and sassy spirit. Oh, and it’s nice being much taller than someone every once and awhile. LOL.
I love ya’ll.
*hugs all ya’ll* Thanks for turning an eFriendship into a sisterhood. *pinches ya’lls cheeks and runs*
Oh, and eight words: District of Columbia. Cherry Blossoms. Two-Thousand-Eleven. Shit is going DOWN.
Love ya like Tim Burton loves Johnny Depp all up and through his films,