Shh, girl, my head-shape is a secret.
The title says it all. Wait, no it doesn’t. I gotta clarify.
I mean the phenomenon that gives brothas extra cute points just for wearing a damn hat!
Take the post representative. Mr. Ladies Love Cool James*. He is scrump-diddly-umptious. But, notice he forever wearing hats. On the rare occasion that he doesn’t rock a hat, he’s well um…different. I remember when I first saw him hatless:
You betta call Tyrone. And tell him to go get yo’ hat.
It’s not like he was no longer cute, it’s that his hatless head wasn’t so…Cool James. All that baldness was too much. And it’s not that he’s bald, my lover-in-my-head is a baldy. It’s that with LL’s head shape, I feel some kinda way about not knowing where his hairline began or ended. I mean, on the real, he look like he’s rockin’ a nude stocking cap. Like he’s auditioning for Magic Eraser: The Mr. Clean Biopic.
So, pinchers, tell me what is it about the hat that makes a man extra foine? Is it the way it frames his face? Is it the way the hat rim hides his bushy eyebrows? Tell me. Tell me now.
Love ya like Basketball Wives love throwin’ drinks,
Cheekie
P.S. I would include Ne-Yo as an example because he forever wears hats and, yes, he does technically look better with his hat than without, but better than what? This? There’s no saving that. Plus he looks like a lizard. Also, his bottom lip annoys me.
P.P.S. While searching for the above picture of Ne-Yo, I’m mad that “Ne-Yo without a hat” was searched so many gahtdamn times, it has a Google autocorrect. I hate and love foolishness simultaneously.
*Wait, did LL Cool J start the trend for making your name an entire sentence? I guess Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em is his mentee, except Soulja Boy forgot to tells us who he tellin’. *kanyeshrug*
I kinda hate these hat trick dudes…they usually look soooo good when the hat is on but when it comes off it’s like nah sir!
I guess the trick is to keep them confined to situations where the hat can stay on.
ummm.. WAIT A MINUTE!! why does Ne-Yo’s picture look like a mugshot?? and is there something i missed??
umm.. and WHY am i mad at you for that picture of LL??
maybe the thing with the hat is that it’s like there’s some mystique underneath.. “is he pulling a Bret Michaels and hiding a bald spot?” “can i see if there’s some curls at the nape of his neck?” “what’s his hair texture like? does he need a tape? WHAT?!”
HOWEVER, my homeboy came in from outta town this weekend.. and his hat made him look NUFFIN but lame.. did it REALLy SAY “Miami” on the back and “305″ on the front? i mean, WHO DOES THAT!?!? i don’t think 31 year olds should be reppin for the hood just THAT hard!! did i forget to mention that it was turned around, so it’s like his neck got all of the shade and his face was STILL in the sun.. he looked like he had “Miami” branded on his forehead as his point of origin.. like “if found, please return to Miami” and the fact that it didn’t even match his outfit, PRICELESS!?!? i’m very observant so he must know that i crossed him off before my car came to a full and complete stop at the airport…
poor thing..
the hat is not always the best move… the swag needs to be put together in order to pull it off…
@max – As Streetz would say, it is most definitely a #swindle. I hate when I see a dude rockin’ a cap and I’m like “Dayummmm” and then when he takes it off I’m like “Dayummm” but in a different tone. lmao
@Nick – His pic looks like a mugshot because it IS a mugshot! He committed the typical Hollywood crime. DUI. Don’t he look a hot steaming mess? And totally SMH at that Miami hat dude. That ish is stupid. And it reminds me of that Area Codes song. Which reminds me of Nate Dogg. Which makes me laugh.
Oh man Cheekie we should be spreading the word about this #swindle on SBM today for real!
Thats why U need to start effin with them dudes with the waves, lol…
@Streetz,
lol. I hatechu.
LMAO at all a this… but the caption under the 2nd LL pic slayed me! Po’ LL. Who told him to take his hat off in the first place??