Shh, girl, my head-shape is a secret.
The title says it all. Wait, no it doesn’t. I gotta clarify.
I mean the phenomenon that gives brothas extra cute points just for wearing a damn hat!
Take the post representative. Mr. Ladies Love Cool James*. He is scrump-diddly-umptious. But, notice he forever wearing hats. On the rare occasion that he doesn’t rock a hat, he’s well um…different. I remember when I first saw him hatless:
You betta call Tyrone. And tell him to go get yo’ hat.
It’s not like he was no longer cute, it’s that his hatless head wasn’t so…Cool James. All that baldness was too much. And it’s not that he’s bald, my lover-in-my-head is a baldy. It’s that with LL’s head shape, I feel some kinda way about not knowing where his hairline began or ended. I mean, on the real, he look like he’s rockin’ a nude stocking cap. Like he’s auditioning for Magic Eraser: The Mr. Clean Biopic.
So, pinchers, tell me what is it about the hat that makes a man extra foine? Is it the way it frames his face? Is it the way the hat rim hides his bushy eyebrows? Tell me. Tell me now.
Love ya like Basketball Wives love throwin’ drinks,
P.S. I would include Ne-Yo as an example because he forever wears hats and, yes, he does technically look better with his hat than without, but better than what? This? There’s no saving that. Plus he looks like a lizard. Also, his bottom lip annoys me.
P.P.S. While searching for the above picture of Ne-Yo, I’m mad that “Ne-Yo without a hat” was searched so many gahtdamn times, it has a Google autocorrect. I hate and love foolishness simultaneously.
*Wait, did LL Cool J start the trend for making your name an entire sentence? I guess Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em is his mentee, except Soulja Boy forgot to tells us who he tellin’. *kanyeshrug*